Take off his awesome hat!
by Regii the Lunar Wolf
Summary: An idea I got from watching LittleKuriboh and Kirbopher's "Leather pants" parody song on Newgrounds. Barry and Paul finally think they've found Ash's power source and take it from him... in song format. Hillarity ensues.


**...Please, don't ask. After watching 'Yu-Gi-Oh abridged's "Let's take his leather pants' song, I just HAD to write this. I don't know, uncontrollable urges.**

**Disclaimer: Original Song belongs to Lady Gaga, idea for this belongs to LittleKuriboh and Kirbopher, this song belongs to me.**

**(Start)**

"Hey Paul!"

Paul turned his head, glancing up to see Barry running towards him, out of breath and clutching his Pokeballs in one hand. Silently, the purple-haired teen stood up, facing his young blonde friend.

"You lost again, didn't you?"

"I tried, I really did!" Paul growled irritably; "He's too strong!"

"I've beaten him."

"But that's because you're awesome, man!" Barry grinned, and Paul turned away in irritation at the compliment.

"So what do you plan to do?"

"We gotta find the source of his thinking for all of his strategies!" Barry nodded firmly; "What could that be, though...?"

Paul shrugged, beginning to walk away; "Not my problem. Find it out on your own ter—"

"PAUL!" Barry suddenly yelled, making the teen jump in surprise; "I TOTALLY know how we're going to defeat Ash Ketchum!"

"Let me guess..." Paul sighed, turning back around; "You want me and you to team up against him in a Pokemon battle, right?"

"Nope!" Barry grinned, causing Paul to quirk an eyebrow; "We're going to steal from him the source of his power as a Pokemon Trainer, and then use it against him!"

"...So you're going to steal his Pokemon?"

"NO!" Barry grinned, leaning back; "THEY'RE not the source of his power! His power comes from..." Barry took a deep breath, ready to declare what might have been the most important thing in the world to him.

"...His POKEMON CAP."

Silence. Paul stared at Barry for a long time, as if he'd just met his friend for the first time and wanted to assassinate him right there.

"...What."

"Yup! Come on, Paul!" Barry turned and walked away; "Let us get his Pokemon cap!"

"...Sorry, but I missed the point where I was involved in this."

"Oh come on, Paul! It'll be fun!" Barry grinned widely at his purple-haired companion who scowled in return; "Besides, it's not like you're doing anything ELSE today, is it?"

"...No, I guess not..." Paul sighed, turning to face Barry; "...Well, I got nothing else better to do – let's get this over with."

"Awesome! But only if I lead!"

"...Wait, what do you mean?"

**(CUE LADY GAGA'S "BAD ROMANCE" SONG)**

"_Howuh-whoa, whoa-whoa-oh-oh, whoah-oh – let's get his awesome hat!"_

Paul and Barry were seen walking down a street, with Barry singing happily and Paul looking very irritable at the sound of his friend's voice in his eardrums.

"_Howuh-whoa, whoa-whoa-oh-oh, whoah-oh – let's take his awesome hat!"_ Barry sung again, his voice resonating through the empty streets of Hearthome City. Paul sighed, trying not to be noticed as Barry continued to sing at the top of his lungs.

"_Ha, ha, hahaha! Ha ha, hahaha! Ha ha, hahaha! Let's get his awesome hat!"_

"Please kill me..."

_"Ha, ha, hahaha! Ha ha, hahaha! Ha ha, hahaha! Take off that bloody hat!"_ Barry sang even louder now, but it suddenly went quiet as Paul pulled him to the side to indicate Ash, Dawn and Brock leaving the town through the gate to Route 209.

"Over there; Barry, shut up and stop singi—"

"_I'm getting ready, no doubt about that..."_ Barry sang much more quietly now, watching Ash and his friends leave the city; _"'Cos when I get it I am wearing his hat, right on my head..."_

"Barry, shush."

"_Head, head, head I want some head!"_

"...Barry, that came out really wrong."

"_I want your hat now – I cannot delay..."_ Barry continued, ignoring Paul's comment as he began to stalk Ash; _"Paul and I together, but hear me – we're not gay, at least I don't think so!"_

"...Barry, shut the hell—"

"_So, so, so no I don't think so!"_

"..." Paul turned his head away, glaring at anything and pretending he didn't belong with Barry... which didn't work when Barry grabbed his arm and promptly dragged him after Ash.

"Sing something, Paul!"

"What? No!"

"Go on, I know you want to..." Barry grinned. Paul, knowing he wasn't going to be able to back out of it, sighed and gave in.

"_You know we want it..."_ He muttered, his eyes glinting; _"You know we need it... so give us your hat – your AWESOME hat!"_

"Awesome!" Barry cheered. Paul grinned, and then began to join in without realising it, still creeping after Ash with Barry by his side.

"_We're Barry and Paul, we will have our revenge, yes indeed – we'll take your awesome hat! Whoah-oh, we're Barry and Paul, we will have our revenge, yes indeed – we'll take your awesome hat!"_

"_Howuh-whoa, whoa-whoa-oh-oh, whoah-oh – let's get his awesome hat!"_ sang Barry softly with Paul humming softly behind him; _"Howuh-whoa, whoa-whoa-oh-oh, whoah-oh – take off the Arceus-damned hat!_ Take it, Paul!"

"_Blah, blah, wah-wah-wah, nah-nah, cha-cha-cha, kah-kah, tah-tah-tah... take off the flamin' hat!"_

"_We don't want no wigs or silly top hats..."_ Barry sang softly as they rounded the bend to see the group setting up for camp; _"All we want from you, is your friggin cap, to make us look cool... cool, cool, cool we are quite epic!"_

"...Barry, that doesn't rhyme—"

"SHUT UP, I AM LADY GAGA!" Barry yelled, causing Paul to flinch and fall onto his backside with the sound of snapping twigs. From the campsite, Pikachu looked up suspiciously into the woods.

"What's up buddy?" Ash asked, patting his Pokemon's head, "hear something?"

"Pika."

"Probably just imagined it..." Dawn yawned, being added onto by Brock's nod; "We're all tired, let's just sleep."

"Weird, though..." Ash muttered, laying back on his sleeping bag; "All this time, I thought I could hear someone singing... meh, maybe I am jus tired..."

Back in the woods, oblivious to the group, Paul and Barry had begun to whisper-sing again.

"_I have an awesome plan that you should now know..."_ Barry whispered to Paul, who raised an eyebrow; _"When he falls asleep, we creep over and go, and steal his hat! Hat, hat, hat we steal his hat!"_

"...That was my plan anyway, Barry."

"Paul, your turn!" Barry nudged him, and Paul sighed, clearing his throat.

"_You know we want it... and you know we need it... we want your hat, your AWESOME hat!"_ The pair suddenly leapt to their feet and began to creep forward, closer to the campsite where the group were now asleep, singing all the way quietly.

"_We're Barry and Paul, we will have our revenge, yes indeed – we'll take your awesome hat! Whoah-oh, we're Barry and Paul, we will have our revenge, yes indeed – we'll take your awesome hat!"_

"_Howuh-whoa, whoa-whoa-oh-oh, whoah-oh – let's get his awesome hat! Howuh-whoa, whoa-whoa-oh-oh, whoah-oh – take off that awesome hat, now!"_

As the two moved closer, Paul began to hum to himself; _"Wah, wah, nah-nah-nah, flah-flah, cha-cha-cha, kar-kar, bah-bah-bah... take off that bloody hat; mah-mah, tra-ha-ha, sa-sa, pah-pah-pah, la-la, gah-gah-gah..."_

_"I like your funny noises."_

"Um... thanks... Barry?"

The two stood in the middle of the campsite, and slowly, Barry reached down, plucking Ash's hat out of his open backpack and slipping it onto his head with a grin.

"Come on, Paul! We got it! Let's do a victory dance!"

"...No." 

"If you don't, I'll run off and scream really loud and leave you here with a bunch of angry Pokemon Trainers.

"...Fine, I'll dance, but only because you threatened me."

"Cool... ready? Let's go!"

The two turned and began to headbang, each taking Ash's hat in turn and bobbing to the non-existent music.

"_Hah, hah, shake it baby; thump your head – this hat is sexy! Hah, hah, shake it baby; thump your head this hat is sexy! Hah, hah, shake it baby; thump your head – this hat is sexy! Hah, hah, shake it baby; thump your head – we're going CRAZY!"_

"_We want your hat, and I want my revenge..."_ Barry sang, beginning to sneak away from the campsite with Paul right behind him, who took up the song.

"_I don't really want it, but you just annoy me to no end..."_

"_What the bloody hell, this song is far too long..."_

"_Watashi haanatano boushi ga hoshii—HOLY CRAP JAPANESE!"_ Paul suddenly froze, staring at his hands. Barry turned to look at him, confused, just as Paul grabbed the front of his shirt.

"Paul, what's going-?"

_"I JUST SPOKE JAPANESE!"_ Paul stared at Barry in massive amounts of concern; _"WHY AM I JAPANESE?"_

"Um..."

_"WE WANT THAT AWESOME HAAAAT!"_

"Damn straight! Now..."

_"Dance with the friggin' hat!_ INSANITY!" The two suddenly jumped and began to break-dance in the middle of another clearing nearby, much to the amusement of the wild Pokemon watching them.

"_We're Barry and Paul, we will have our revenge, yes indeed – we'll take your awesome hat! Whoah-oh, we're Barry and Paul, we will have our revenge, yes indeed – we'll take your awesome hat!"_

"_Howuh-whoa, whoa-whoa-oh-oh—"_

"_Take off that bloomin' hat!"_

"_-Whoah-oh – let's get his awesome hat!"_

"_Let's take his awesome hat!"_

"_Howuh-whoa, whoa-whoa-oh-oh—"_

"_Remove his effin' hat!"_

"_-Whoah-oh – take off that awesome hat!"_

"_Remove that amazing hat!"_

"_Ha ha, hahaha! Ha-ha, hahaha! Ha-ha, hahaha! WE HAVE HIS FRIGGIN' HAT!"_

**(Song end)**

"At last!" Barry grinned widely as Paul leaned up against a tree, breathless; "The thing that gives Ash Ketchum all of his Pokemon trainer powers – his awesome hat – now belongs... to ME!"

"...You mean us, Barry."

"Don't be difficult Paul," Barry grinned, turning to face his companion; "Remember, only one of us can wear the hat."

"Very well," Paul smirked at Barry as the younger boy began to test the size; "Although I am surprised that you'd be so quick to have Ash's essence all over you, Barry."

"..." Barry stared at the hat, his face paling before throwing it at Paul; "On second thoughts, you try it on."

"I thought so."

"What in ARCEUS' NAME is going on here?" Both boys jumped into the air and wheeled around to face Ash, who was standing at the entrance of the clearing with folded arms and really bad bed-hair; "Why have you stolen my hat?"

"It's too late, Ash!" Barry smirked widely; "All of your Pokemon Training power is now gone! Now, we wear the hats from now on!"

"Yeah..." Paul grinned, adjusting the hat, "All of your main character powers are now clasped firmly around my skull and there's nothing you can do about it."

"What?" Ash blinked, before realising what they meant and beginning to laugh; "Oh, no. You're both wrong. My power isn't in my hat."

"Wait WHAT?" Both boys stared at Ash, who had a very smug expression on his face; "But it was so damn obvious!"

"Nope," Ash grinned, placing his hands on his hips; "My power comes from my brain, and from my Pokemon... but also, my sexy yellow-striped jacket!"

"NO WAY!" Barry wailed angrily, staring at Ash incredulously; "There aren't even any SONGS that rhyme with jacket! CURSE YOU, ASH! CURSE YOU!"

"I really do like the hat..." Paul muttered, rubbing the red attire on top of his head, smirking at it. Barry glanced around and gave him a smile.

"Yeah, it is quite cool, isn't it?"

"Can I have that back now?" Ash grunted irritably, glaring at Paul who grinned smugly.

"No. And there's nothing you can do to get it ba—"

"Pikachu, Thunderbolt."

"What the...?" Both Paul and Barry blinked as the floor beneath them suddenly exploded from a huge blast of electricity, causing them both to fly into the air and out of sight. As they did the hat dell off of Paul's head and landed right back in Ash's hands, who promptly put it back on.

"As I said... it's not the hat, it's the jacket..." And with that, Ash turned around, walking back to the campsite with Pikachu on his shoulder. As he climbed back into his sleeping bag, one listening carefully could quite audibly hear a song humming from his direction.

"_...Can't beat my, can't beat my, no you can't beat my cool jacket... I have got an awesome jacket... c-c-c-cool jacket c-c-cool jacket, my cool jacket..."_

**(End)**

**...Yes, this was PURE randomness. I couldn't resist after watching the parody song 'Leather Pants' from LittleKuriboh and Kirbopher. I think that that's amazingly funny, and I don't know what you'll think of this, but I found it fun to write.**

**Regii, the random wolfie, over and out!**

_**...R-R-R-R-Regii R-R-R-Regii, I am Regii...**_

**+Regii+**


End file.
